You're not as scary and as intimidating as I thought you would be now that I have finally met you. For some odd reason my mind had created this ideal concept about you, but in reality you really could never have lived up to any of my ridiculous expectations or high standards that I have set. In a way, you were the Galatea to my Pygmalion (and if whoever actually read this rubbish has no idea what the fuck I'm talking about then google that shit).
I'm not entirely sure how I've developed into this 4 foot 11 inch small asian girl with insane ideas and weird mannerisms who is rather blunt with her opinions like I don't give a flying fuck. Its rather amusing... looking back at a span of time trying to figure out the exact moment a change started to occur. What was it that set me off into this journey of becoming this rather different being? And its this examination of self that has me wondering If I've even like who I've become. Back then I used to be this really shy and reserved wittle little asian girl who kinda of ran around town with this idea that the world wasn't a bad place. Unconditional love for another person existed. Your family was always going to be happy. Real problems never occurred. Poprocks were meant to be eaten for breakfast. If you lived life with the best intentions then here was really no way you'd ever get done dirty. Back then I used to be 85% optimistic and 15% bubbly as fuck up to the point that even I gave myself a headache being all in love with life and a bit naive.
its a trip. the sum of my experiences and the way I've responded to them that brought on this change. I sort of wish I could revert back cuz sometimes I fucking miss that girl. Resiliency is such a weird ass thing man cuz when the ball drops I never bounce back to where I originally was: sometimes it lands higher and sometimes much lower. Sometimes I gotta close my eyes and just hope Ill be happy with which ever place I land.
anywaysss. don't ask me what the fuck I've been writing about my shits way beyond ridiculous to the point that its like damn...no wonder fools be thinking I'm high all the time like I'm on some massive stoner trip when really I'm just like this normally. peace to the middle east love.
25. another year. If i was a black male I would of out lived the status-quo on life expectancy and therefore spent my night drinking henny, eating fried chicken, and celebrating life by throwing up my middle FINGER. Since I'm not i guess ill spend my birthday doing homework. fuck me. hahahahahaaha.
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