OVER ANALYZING MY CRAIGSLIST EMAIL for this dope spot cuz I'm craaaazy and I VANNNT THIS.

HI, My name is Reyna and I am very interested in your available room. I'm not sure if you're looking for another guy, but if thats the case then its no dice for me because I happen to be a 24 for year old asian (actually technical I'm pacific islander) female full-time nursing student. I know I'm not as fun as you guys, but I picked a profession that is super lame and honestly rather boring. My bad : / but I still hope you consider me. Rent will always be paid on time even though I'm unemployed (student loans and parents help out). The reason why I'm unemployed isn't because I'm a slacker, but because I work really weird hours at the hospital for clinical rotations. This also means most days I won't be home and Ill probably only be around during nights and weekends. Umm I don't ride bikes, but I'd love to…Im new to Portland and I guess cycling is a major phenomena in this city. I do drive a Prius because well Im from California and I lived in the suburbs where it'd take me a whole day to bike to my destinations (don't hate me please because someone once said it is a "hideous little icon of the hand-wringing, condescending environmental bigots"). I honestly agree with the whole view point on the prius, but I'm still running around town in one. Umm I love out door activities, but I just moved down to portland and went straight into my program when I got here so I haven't been out doing much. Which means if any of you cool folks have free time and need the company of a small asian while your hiking on a trail or two well then I'm your gal. I am drama free and a clean person (though not overly OCD) about anything, and I respect people's personal space.

the pros about LIVING with me:

- since I am a nursing student I frequently get drug tested, background checked, and my immunizations are up to date which MEANS I'm not a shifty druggy who may steal your stuff and sale it on ebay, I'm not a criminal, and when flu season rolls around I will not get you sick. In fact I am equipped at handling business and getting you on your way to a better health.

- I'm pretty much care free and laid back.

- I can't cook, but I can make a 7 course meal as long as theres a microwave involved. My finger is quick on the button. I also can slice, dice, and criss-cut vegetables if there are any vegans in the house.

cons: I'm quite clumsy sometimes and I have a weird sense of humor (a' la' zoey Deschanel but not as cute), which isn't really a con, but I felt like I had to put something down.

ATTN: EPIPHANIES. RANDOM DETOURS. MAKING IT RAIN ON SOME HOES.

Im not sure how it happened, but I lost my way back there somewhere. It's sort of like I woke up one day and randomly morphed into a disgruntled middle aged house-wife who is sick and tired of the same old thing, but too stuck in routine to ever do anything about it.

Quite possibly my mental health rotation is the best thing to ever happen to me. It was the final straw that broke this camels back and I was just like FUCK IT. fuck your mom. FUCK YOU. fuck your dog too. Thus I threw up both middle fingers to this so-called life and decided that shits about to change. pronto. stat. like NOWzzzzies. If i could say the word "NOW" in a multitude of various languages id be slamming those down too cuz it's JUST THAT SERIOUS.

If i wanted to be lame and seclude myself in a room all day I might as well just check into the psych ward so I can chill with all the other crazies who are involuntarily stuck in 5 X 6 walls. They just stare at their walls half of the time bored out of their minds and moments of their lives are preciously wasted. And though its not that Im wasting mine necessarily cuz I spend those hours studying and my days are rather goal-oriented apart of me is still like fuck. Umm so when Do I live again?

SO today I said EFF THIS. I rummaged around in my contact list and hit everybody up and their mom for a kick it session, and two folks responded. These two folks shall not be named, but lets just say they have never been to a Titty Bar. Thus after loading up on tons of fire water and greasy food I managed to talk them into going. Best Idea Ive had in a while. The whole experience was way too amusing. I never imagined Id be sitting around watching some girl pop her V at me with these two gangsters. ahahahahaha. It was random, awkward, funny, and so weird at the same time. I was just stuck in the moment while some girl was dropping it like its hot in front of me to a Willy Nelson song (PORTLAND YOU ARE STRANGE AS SHIZZ BY THE WAY). I wasn't worried about school, wasn't worried about crazy family thats gone more insane the past year, and wasn't worried that I may be doing shit all wrong. I honestly felt like I used to be when I was 18. Young. Naive. Rather STUPID. PRESENT LIVING cuz who cares about tomorrow. Now its not like I want to revert into the dumb teenager that I used to be, but I have to admit homegirl used to be super happy making bad decisions.

So I'm going to do a few things differently that will automatically result in me being in Awe of life and its little pleasures. I haven't come up with the plan necessarily, but Im in the process of doing so that revolves around DOING MORE, thinking less. A part of me hates that I'm way too analytical and I tend to be in my head all of the time. Especially now even more so.

old REYNA used to: dress like a legit human being, kayak, jump out of airplanes, go rafting, paint and sketch as a hobby, mob around downtown meeting random ass people who taught her a bunch of life lessons and changed her perspective, kick it at art museums when there was nothing better to do, go to dinners and movies by herself and never felt awkward about it, plan out random activities that usually involved firewater, and take impromptu 1 day mini road trips with no exact destination, etc..etc...etc...

new REYNA now: dresses like a hot mess, sits around doing a bunch of homework, goes to the gym, and sometimes cracks a few inappropriate jokes when she's feeling a bit gangster. Seriously the only time I ever draw is when I make sketches on my class notes out of boredom. Stick figures that are doing inappropriate things cuz even my imagination is at an all time low.

anyways. Long story short: I'm going to enjoy life. Im going to keep being ambitious. Im going to love a little. KEEP shizz weird and crazy. Also I'm going to start looking like a legit human being again- 1 day of the week I will not wear a poncho/sweat pants/a fucking muumuu.

memo-to-self: find a new place to live so I can move out that doesn't involve a living condition full of vegans or heroin addicts.

PEACE TO THE MIDDLE EAST AND IM OUT.

I said Bird, bird, BIrd...birds the fucking word

My Prius has been going on a bird massacre recently and its probably because my car is so stealthy as shit so the little critters don't hear my car creeping up on them as I'm busting 60 in a 45 mile zone. Im sorry but I AM NOT GOING TO SWERVE out of my way and crash my car so that they can fly away safely with their lives intact. I feel semi-bad because I think I've been running over Crows, which means I've been killing peoples' souls. I would much rather run over a bunch of ducks cuz honestly I fucking hate ducks. I have a mad phobia about them cuz theyre kind of the bitches of the bird kingdom. SWEAR TO ALLAH that every single time i used to go running past the pond at my old house they'd chase after me hella mean like with the determination to fuck my shit up. Which i mean was cool and all cuz that would make my ass run even faster, but I don't want to get bitten by one and get rabies. Rabies isn't a good look for anybody to rock. All that foaming of the mouth and potential death is just a hot fucking mess.

anyways. IF anyone sees flattened out birds on the road it was probably me who did it. Sorry it was unintentionally, but since my carbon foot print is minuscule cuz I am mobbin around town in a Prius I will be able to sleep peacefully at night.

out beeezzzzy.

i need a martha stewart in my life

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