My Prius has been going on a bird massacre recently and its probably because my car is so stealthy as shit so the little critters don't hear my car creeping up on them as I'm busting 60 in a 45 mile zone. Im sorry but I AM NOT GOING TO SWERVE out of my way and crash my car so that they can fly away safely with their lives intact. I feel semi-bad because I think I've been running over Crows, which means I've been killing peoples' souls. I would much rather run over a bunch of ducks cuz honestly I fucking hate ducks. I have a mad phobia about them cuz theyre kind of the bitches of the bird kingdom. SWEAR TO ALLAH that every single time i used to go running past the pond at my old house they'd chase after me hella mean like with the determination to fuck my shit up. Which i mean was cool and all cuz that would make my ass run even faster, but I don't want to get bitten by one and get rabies. Rabies isn't a good look for anybody to rock. All that foaming of the mouth and potential death is just a hot fucking mess.
anyways. IF anyone sees flattened out birds on the road it was probably me who did it. Sorry it was unintentionally, but since my carbon foot print is minuscule cuz I am mobbin around town in a Prius I will be able to sleep peacefully at night.
out beeezzzzy.
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